Between Love and Hate
by Midnight Alexis Thorn
Summary: "...You don't have to apologize...It was some of my fault, too..." Lovino muttered awkwardly as he rested his cheek against his little brother's head, trying to subtly give his brother more warmth. "Some?" Feliciano asked into his chest as Lovino's eye twitched. "Fine. It was mostly my fault" Lovino huffed, but smiled softly. I own only the plot, unfortunately.


Between Love and Hate

Italy sniffled, rubbing his eyes until they turned even more red-rimmed. Sure, he was annoying and useless at times as his brother and others tended to frequently remind him, but he didn't think his brother really hated him. He didn't mean to annoy Romano, really he didn't, but he did, and with the stress building up on both of them due to economy issues and the stress on Romano because he hadn't seen or talked to Spain in a month, they both blew up this time.

~Flashback~Flashback~Flashback~Flashback~Flashback~Flashback~

North Italy sighed, which began to become more of a common occurrence these days. He and his brother hadn't been getting along, more so than usual. Romano had a shorter fuse and blew up on him easily, while Italy remained silent and allowed his brother to vent on him. It was wearing down on them both, however, and he knew it was only a matter of time before they did something they would regret. Normally, he would be able to go to Germany's house, but Germany was rather stressed, too, so he told Italy not to come to his house over trivial things like a fight with his brother.

He flipped the page in his book by Dante Alighieri called The Divine Comedy. Yes, he did like to read, surprisingly enough. He liked painting more, however. He laid, sprawled on the couch as he read, having the TV on as well.

"Move the hell over, you damn idiot" Romano snapped, still annoyed from their previous falling out. Italy ignored him for the moment, opting to move in a few seconds after he finished the paragraph. To Romano, this took much too long. "I said move the hell over, you idiot!" He snarled as he pulled Italy over the edge of the couch, stepping over Italy's fallen, shocked body.

"Why did you do that?!" Italy cried angrily as he stood up, obscuring the TV from Romano's sight. "Because you took too fucking long, that's why! Now, move, you stupid bastard!" He snapped, glaring daggers at his lighter colored brother. Something snapped in Italy as he felt great fury burn him. "Why are you such a jerk?! You're such a hateful asshole!" Italy raised his voice at Romano and cursed, two things he hadn't done in a very, very long time.

"Who the hell are you to tell me what I am?!" Romano snapped after he got over his shock, standing up as well and glaring at his younger twin. "Look who's talking, you hypocrite! All you've done this month is insult and be mean to me when I haven't even done anything wrong! Why can't you just be a nice person for a while?! What did I ever do to you?!" Italy shouted angrily, feeling angry tears build up in his eyes, obscuring his vision until Romano was an unclear blob.

"You were born, that's what you did! Why couldn't I have been born the only Italy?! Everything would have been better for everyone that way, you annoying brat! You're useless; without you, Italy could be strong and wouldn't be thought of as such a cowardly country! I would have been so much better off without you, everyone wouldn't associate me with such a wimp and would like me more!" Romano shouted. Italy's feeling being hurt only fueled his rage.

"Screw you, Romano! You're such a jealous bastard sometimes! I thought you got over your jealousy, you said so!" Italy's fist clenched angrily, as did Romano's. Bringing up Romano's previous jealousy only served to make Romano see red."I'm not jealous, you useless waste of fucking space! I wish you were never born! You ruined my life! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!" Romano shouted as he slapped Italy hard enough to whip Italy's head back, throw the younger brother to the floor, and leave a large, red, angry hand mark.

This caused both of them to freeze, anger diminishing instantly, leaving only hurt and regret behind. Italy's tears that were so expertly held back fell down his cheeks, leaving Romano speechless. He'd never really caused his brother to seriously cry before, then again, he'd never slapped him or even really hit him before either. "I...Ita...Feli" Romano barely managed to choke out, legs feeling like jelly and his throat constricting him as he stumbled backwards until the back of his knees hit the couch and he fell onto it.

At this, as if he were broken out of some twisted trance, Italy bolted out the door and into the cool afternoon air.

~End of Flashback~End of Flashback~End of Flashback~End of Flashback~

Thus, he found himself in his and his brother's favorite park in Rome, the Villa Ada, hiding from his brother. Even if Romano did have the idea to search for him here, it was 450 acres, so it would take a very long time to find him. Italy shivered, wishing that he had brought a sweater at the very least. It was 15 degrees Fahrenheit (59 degrees Celsius,) after all.

He felt his eyes water, not only with tears, but from the cold as well. He put a hand in his short's pocket, only to find nothing; he had left his phone at home. "Dammit" Italy cursed softly, something that he found himself doing more often. He had originally planned to call France or Austria who bordered on the north or even Germany or Prussia to come pick him up, but now he couldn't.

He curled into himself against a large tree, wanting nothing more than to escape the cold and go home, but knew that he couldn't. After all, his brother hated him and wanted nothing to do with him. Romano probably couldn't even stand to look at him, so Italy would try to keep his brother pleased for as long as he could until he was forced to go home to avoid getting severely sick. And so, he stayed there, in the same curled up position, for four whole hours until the cold was too much for him. At which point, he reluctantly dragged himself home, ignoring the fact that it was hard for him to breathe at the moment.

...

He silently opened the front door, closed it with a soft click, and walked down the hallway towards his room. He was hungry, but if his brother was still here and saw him in the kitchen, he might get angry and hate Italy even more because he had been gone so long and only came back to eat.

He was still shivering madly, teeth chattering loudly, and mentally decided that his one blanket would not suffice, so made a detour to the closet between his and his brother's rooms. His footsteps were nearly silent and he made sure to avoid the select few boards that he knew would creak. His trembling hands grabbed a large, fluffy comforter and he quietly closed the closet door after.

He quickly made his way to his room and closed the door, satisfied with the tiny, almost inaudible click that followed. He turned towards his bed, feeling his eyelids droop, idly noting that his book was on his bed, only to freeze up as he saw what-or rather, who- was in his bed. His older brother was in his freaking bed. Much to Italy's horror, dismay, chagrin, you name it, he felt a sneeze coming on. A. Fucking. Sneeze. While. His. Brother. Was. Ten. Fucking. Feet. Away.

His hand flew up to his nose, hoping to stop or muffle the sneeze. To no avail, of course. "A-A-ACHOO!" He sneezed loudly, sincerely hoping that his brother was in one of his dead sleeps where nothing could wake him up.

Lady Luck was not on his side today.

"Wha-Feliciano?" Romano asked (hopefully?) as he opened bleary eyes. Italy couldn't take it any longer and burst into tears. "I'm sorry! I didn't know you hated me, but if I knew then I would have left you alone. I'm really, really sorry that I'm so useless and annoying and easy to hate! Mi dispiace, fratello, mi dispiace" Italy-Feliciano- sobbed, beginning to hyperventilate.

Lovino's eyes snapped open as he woke up fully, jumping up and wrapping his arms around his younger brother, noting to himself that his little brother was freezing. "Sh, breathe, Feli, breathe. It's okay, I promise. I'm really, really sorry for hitting you and saying such mean things. I promise that I didn't mean it, I...I love you, fratellino, no matter what I say, I will always love you, okay? So, um, stop crying right now and breathe right, chigi" Lovino flushed a dark red color. Feliciano continued crying, but this time, the tears were no longer depressed.

...But he still couldn't stop hyperventilating. His vision began to blur around the edges and black spots invaded his sight. "Shit! Feli, breathe!" Lovino shouted as he began panicking as well, hitting Feliciano on the back to see if it would help. He then quickly deduced that it wasn't working and began rubbing it instead. "Feliciano! What's wrong with you?!" Lovino shouted in a panicky tone, now full blown panicking. Why couldn't his brother breathe?!

"I don't know what to do! Feliciano, please, just breathe!" Lovino shouted, tears welling up in his eyes as his brother still continued to hyperventilate. Who would know what to do, dammit?! He didn't want to leave his younger brother, but ran to get to the phone. "Pick up, dammit! Pick up! Please, Toni, pick up!" He shouted at the phone, feeling at a loss.

"Hola, Lovi! What-" the cheerful Spaniard was cut off. "Toni, please help me! I don't know what to do!" He cried as he ran back to Feliciano. "What's wrong, Lovino?" Antonio asked, now serious. "It-It's Feliciano! He's hyperventilating and I don't know what to do! He can't breathe correctly and I-I'm scared, Toni!" He whimpered to his best friend/boyfriend of sorts.

"Listen, first you have to calm down. You can't let Feliciano know that you're panicking, because then he'll panic as well. Take a deep breath and collect yourself" Antonio commanded seriously, then continued after Lovino had somewhat calmed down. "You have to speak calmly to him and reassure him that he will be and is fine. Do whatever you can to reassure him that everything is okay. Talk about your favourite times or something of the sort. Tell him to take deep and slow breaths.

"Now, do this and put the phone down. Don't worry; I'll stay on the phone in case it doesn't work" Antonio reassured him before Lovino nodded to himself and put the phone down. He took a deep breath again and turned around calmly, despite feeling like he wanted to scream and cry.

"Okay, Feli, I want you to calm down, alright? You're going to be fine. You're fine. When this is over, we're going to watch a movie together and eat all the pasta and popcorn for it that you want. You can even pick the movie, if you want. Just try not to make it too much of a sissy movie. Alright, I want you to think of something that always calms you down and makes you feel happy. Think of your favourite time with any of your friends, someone else, or...me.

"You have to take really deep and slow breaths. Let's try one breath for...every five seconds, okay?" Lovino asked as Feliciano managed a weak nod, eyes drooping as he fought to breathe and keep conscious. "Alright, Feli. Good job, you've almost got it. Alright, keep trying. Remember, one breath every five seconds, alright? You're almost there. Come on, you've got this, Feli. You can do it. I know you can" he weakly smiled at his little brother.

Feliciano attempted what he was told, despite feeling like he wasn't able to breathe and therefore fighting the urge to take rapid breaths. "That's it, Feli. You've almost got it. Sì, così. Hai quasi fatto. Continua a provare. Non ti preoccupare, ci sei quasi. Buon lavoro, fratellino. (Yes, like that. You almost have it. Keep trying. Don't worry, you're almost there. Good job, baby brother.)" Lovino reassured his younger brother, slipping into their mother tongue to reassure him even further.

Feliciano barely managed to do as his brother told him to, but did when he heard his brother reassure him so nicely and in their own language. "That's it, Feli! You have it. Buon lavoro, fratellino" Lovino sighed in relief when Feliciano began breathing normally again. Feliciano smiled weakly, feeling exhausted. "Thank Dio, Feli. Don't ever fucking do that again, stupid!" Lovino changed back to his normal self as he huffed angrily.

...There was no real fire behind his words, and they both knew this. "Sorry" Feliciano smiled apologetically before he tackled his older brother who sat next to him in a hug. "Wh-What the-?!" Lovino stammered as his cheeks went red. "Grazie, Fratello" Feliciano mumbled into his older brother's chest.

Lovino's arms hung awkwardly by his sides before he wrapped them around Feliciano in an even more awkward (for him) hug. (He noted that Feliciano was still very, very cold.) "...You don't have to apologize...It was some of my fault, too..." Lovino muttered awkwardly as he rested his cheek against his little brother's head, trying to subtly give his brother more warmth. "Some?" Feliciano asked into his chest as Lovino's eye twitched. "Fine. It was mostly my fault" Lovino huffed, but smiled softly.

His smile dropped quickly, however. "...But...I really am sorry. It was wrong of me to say what I did and to hit you...It was horrible of me to hit you like that...I'm really, really sorry. I don't know what came over me" Lovino sighed as he guiltily apologized. "It's okay," Feliciano mumbled into his chest, "I know you didn't mean to."

"Thank you, Feli" he muttered into his little brother's hair, feeling relieved. "For what?" Feliciano questioned confusedly. "For forgiving me" he sighed. "But...if you EVER scare me like that a-fucking-gain, you're gonna-I'm gonna-I'll-I'll, uh-I'll fucking castrate you!" Lovino stammered over his words as he didn't quite know what exactly he was going to threaten to do.

"No! Anything but castration!" Feliciano wailed over-dramatically into his brother's chest, tightening his grip slightly. Lovino could only roll his eyes action wise, so he took to expressing himself verbally. "Be quiet, stupid. I'm not going to castrate you...as long as you don't freak me the fuck out and scare me like that again" Lovino huffed as Feliciano sent him one of his opened eyed small smiles.

"..." Lovino almost wanted to tell his brother to close his cute as fucking hell eyes again, but knew that this was a rare occurrence, so didn't. "Ve~ Good, I'd imagine castration really hurts! Especially since you're not a doctor!" Feliciano exclaimed, causing Lovino to grumble, "Shut it, stupid."

"Anyway, I promised you a movie night, so let's hurry up and watch one already. But I swear, Feli, if you choose a sissy movie..." Lovino glowered at his brother with no fire in his eyes. "I won't!" Feliciano said cheerfully. "And could you make the popcorn while I pick a movie? Thanks, fratello!" Feliciano beamed before Lovino could even get out a reply. "Hey, wai- And he's gone...brat" Lovino grumbled softly, but smiled ever so slightly.

"Stupid...I was really scared for you. I...love you" Lovino sighed as he shook his head slightly, going to make the popcorn, ignoring the excited gasp Feliciano gave in the living room. Hopefully, he hadn't found the movie Poland sent them recently...That movie just...It made even the manliest men lose their manliness.

Even as Lovino sat down beside his brother with the tub of popcorn in hand, plenty of warm, fluffy blankets for his little brother, and the movie (which was thankfully NOT the movie Poland sent them) playing, he felt as if he were forgetting something...mildly important.

...

"Aw! Mi poquito tomate y poquito Feli are just so cute! Aww! That was so sweet! It's just AGHSMFKEDMOEMD!" Spain absolutely squealed with delight now that his tomate and little brother were back in good graces with each other. "I know Spain, I know" France pat Spain's back as he understood the universal language of fanboy and fangirl. "Kesesesese! That was too fucking cute, besides the whole panicking and hyperventilating, of course! It was cute, like Gilbird! Right, my awesome little Gilbird?" Prussia asked cheerfully to the small bird who chirped happily.

"That was indeed cute, da?" Russia smiled as he cocked his head to the side as if he were an inquiring child, just revealing himself to two of his ex-allies and one of his ex-enemies.

"AHH!" The first high-pitched scream would be France.

"EEEEK!" The second would be Spain.

"AHH! EEK! GET AWAY, GET AWAY!" And the third...Well, I, for one refuse to believe that was the awesome Prussia...so let's say Canada (who?) was there as well.

"M-Maple!" ...Ignore that one. Uh, Canada just screamed a second time is all...Yeah, that's it.

* * *

**I'm horrible. I haven't updated my Naruto story or my Hetalia story yet as of recently. Yet here I am making one-shots. Consider me one-shot happy. I am literally working on nine different works at the moment. Ideas just come to me and WHAM! I'm wrapped up in it.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. If you did, or even if you didn't, please drop a review.**

**At the beginning, I myself didn't even like where I was going with it. I had to scratch it and try again multiple times as I didn't like how much of an asshole I portrayed Lovi as. He really doesn't mean to, but sometimes he goes over the top as he lets his anger consume him. Oh, by the way, this wasn't meant to be a Itacest fic, just family, but you can see it however you want. Mommy-Midnight loves you very, very much and is sorry for this piece of crap!**

**(Mommy-Midnight might also be turning into an insomniac. She hasn't slept in two days straight. Thank God for Sleepytime Tea, right? Hopefully, it will work this time.) On the bright side...Mommy-Midnight got a boyfriend. Whoopdido, right? We've been tipping toes over each other for a while and finally, after talking briefly about it, decided we were going to date. Yay. (Mommy-Midnight was more excited about it when she was well-rested.)**

**Okay, you guys don't give a shit about me, so I'll just be on my way...Alone...With NO ONE to talk to...Did I mention alone? Lol. Sorry, guys, I'm just so tired. Please drop a review. I love you guys. :)**


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